Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Science Marches On

You could hear the nationwide cheer that erupted when the University of Colorado announced recently, "fat thighs might be beneficial to health." Really! Pour some extra creamer in your coffee and read on. I would not make this up; that would be cruel. We can neither slow aging nor cure the common cold, but by golly, we can trash-toss those tortuous thigh-toning machines! Say Hallelujah brother!

The study reports that we have healthier "peripheral fat" (limbs) and "unhealthy visceral fat (stomach)." According to a professor, "pay more attention to waistline fat rather than thigh fat". Oh sure, easy to for you to say; you probably look great in shorts. Oops. I digress.

Per the study, the "benefit of fat thighs" is that they were linked to better triglyceride scores. Not only has a new day dawned brightly for those of us mistakenly trying to firm, tone, and shape, but you are - at this very moment - reading the first time in history that the terms "fat thighs" and "benefits" were ever linked in one sentence. A truly historic day!

"Fat Thigh Benefits" (that expression will take some getting used to) are enhanced if one has a thinner upper body. Hmmm, thin top, heavy bottom. We're picturing as the future pinnacle of healthy body image those round-bottomed toys that don't fall over. Think Calista Flockhart above the waist and Kirstie Alley below.

Don't misunderstand; I'm not making fun. I have more than my share of unsightly leg and stomach "dimples" ("pot holes" is more accurate). I suck in my stomach so often I could replace our vacuum cleaner.

My concern is how this discovery could be misinterpreted. Instead of gyms packed with puffing, panting, people, "4T" specialists (Thick Thighs Tiny Tummies) might hang business shingles from every corner promising pencil size middles and overdeveloped limbs. Popeye could emerge as a national role model. What country would interact honestly with a nation who's prestige is represented by a cartoon character?

Yet, there could be advantages. Instead of trying to hide those jiggling, wobbly gelatinous, masses I call my legs, I imagine some poor skinny soul envying my hale and hearty limbs. "I wish I was healthy as you," he sighs.

"Just keep at it pal - and put some more butter on those mashed potatoes."

About the author: Scott "Q" Marcus, THINspirational speaker, lives in Eureka. Since losing 70 pounds ten years ago he conducts presentations on goal setting, attitude, and health throughout the country. He can be reached at 707.442.6243 or

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