Monday, September 04, 2006

Anchors A-Weight (1st Entry on Scott's Cruise)

Juneau - first opportunity to write

A day to live forever

Last night, at dinner, I resisted dessert.

Believe it or not, I wasn't sick. And equally as surprising, the desserts looked great (at least by name). Some of them had fancy titles, but the words "chocolate" and "cocoa" were heavily involved in the description. It is a day of note, when I resist chocolate - especially when it's including in the price and "all you can eat." (It takes a brave - or foolish - restaurateur to make such an offer when I'm around.)
Missed Desserts!

The reality is that I'm at the upper end of my comfort zone (weight wise) and so I'm so "conscious" about my eating on this trip that I took a look at the dessert list, asked myself, "is it worth the calories?" And answered to myself, "No."

Wanting to Eat Badly (aka Wanting to Eat Poorly)

We left for Seattle on 9/1 (3 days ago) and all along, I've been trying to remember, "I can always have more later." Cruise ships are not known for running out of food, you know?

It is a complex balancing act: If I deprive myself, I'll overindulge in the end because I feel cheated. If I go nuts and eat everything I want to eat, I'll have too much trouble bringing myself back on line later - plus I'll put on even more weight, ruining the trip.

It's a fine line and I admit I am somewhat resentful. This morning (while I had a few pieces of smoked salmon, fruit, one hash brown, and some cheese for breakfast), my inner child complained that what I really wanted was an omelet, sausage, pancakes, French toast, donuts, croissants, donuts, bacon and lots and lots of cheese for breakfast. Of course, if I had all that, I'd look like a goodly percentage of the people on this cruise.

Not a Pretty Sight

If you've ever stayed away from cruising because you're concerned that your body isn't good enough and everyone will look at you, toss that thought away immediately.

I know, tacky, tacky, tacky. It's a rude comment and I'm embarrassed I feel that way, but let me explain.

I know how hard it is to lose weight - and I have lots of compassion for the effort it takes to do it and for people willing to put in some effort. However, I find all my judgments springing up as I watch (in horrifying detail) how much food people can eat. I think to myself, "is that what I looked like when I ate like that?" There is no joy in their faces, no pleasure about the taste or sensation. All I see is a robotic shoveling of food. One bite after another, until the plate is empty. it's difficult to watch - even painful. It reminds me of why I stay on my path.

Deck 7

What happens if you go clockwise?Most ships have a track so you can exercise while you're on your trip; usually, 11 or 12 laps to a mile. I've made three tours around deck 7. I walked several miles in Seattle, and I've taken the stairs in the ship every single freaking time (well, except once, but I can blame that one on my codependence because I felt bad for my wife).

Overall, so far, it's fun, despite the complaints.

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